BEATNICK SENDS OFF DAUGHTER TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE

News of the day. The writing is speeding along for the Manning novel. Soon, I'll break 100,000 words. It will be the longest novel I've written to date. Below, is the wedding toast I put together for my daughter's wedding to Mr. Scott Furuta. I'm very happy with it and with how well it went as I uttered it. I sent this version of it on expensive paper to the couple for a memento of their special day. Of course, there were spontaneous exclamations along the way that are missing, but, roughly, this is it:

FOR THE WEDDING OF SCOTT KIYOSHI FURUTA AND EVA THOMAS

Delivered on  20 September, 2014

As the father of the bride, I’m upset with Scott and Eva

I thought I’d never have to buy another suit

I was hoping they’d get hitched in a hot air balloon

Somewhere above the Arizona dessert

Instead, they got married in Cle Elum, Washington

And I’m the only hot air balloon in sight

Eva gave me two orders about this wedding

I was to cry when I gave her over to Scott

And when I told her I thought my toast would probably be short

Since there are many years when she was not in my care

She teared up and told me I was a writer and could do better than that

To please Eva I did my internet duty

And read over several examples of wedding toasts by fathers of the bride

And I got lots of advice from many people too

Such as My god, George, you can’t say that!

And Keep it short!

The sample toasts I read ran about five minutes

So does this one

One wedding toast tradition is that the father must embarrass the bride

By relating some memory from her past

I’m sure most of you know that Eva cries very easily

She’s one of the most tenderhearted and gentle women I know

When Eva was about three, sometimes she’d cry so hard she couldn’t catch her breath

She’d cry and cry and cry until she couldn’t breathe

Then she’d pass out, fall down and pee her pants

I hope you don’t have to deal with that too often, Scott

One of my favorite memories of Eva comes from that same period

For about a year, while her mother was finishing up her first nursing degree,

Eva was in daycare at the Lutheran Church in Cheney

Every weekday morning I put her on my shoulders to carry her to daycare

It was our routine to sing “You Are My Sunshine” as we traveled along

That’s my happy memory of it—our singing that song together

Eva’s memory is a bit different

Only recently she told me that during our walk to daycare

While we sang that happy song together, she was filled with dread

She knew I was about to drop her off and leave her behind

When I think of Eva up there on my shoulders

Being carried along, singing happily away and filled with dread

That memory can make me cry

However, Eva, I’m unable to shed any tears at this wedding,

This joyous beginning is also the culmination of so many things in your life

So many things that make you the woman you are today

The daughter I so much love and admire for her courage and intelligence

And the perfect loving partner to Mister Scott Furuta —

The joining of your two lives together

It’s just too happy an occasion for me to feel any sadness

Which brings me to the groom

Toast tradition says I must now speak about the groom

Brace yourself, Scott

Happily, Scott Furuta is the perfect mate

For the loving and tender-hearted woman that Eva has become

Scott is supportive and funny and a gentle person himself

He’s got a warm laugh and he’s a real gentleman

The first time I met Scott, he shook my hand,

And very sincerely and respectfully called me, “Mister Thomas”

I looked around to see who he was talking to

Scott Furuta is a very bright fellow also and a college teacher

He learned that the Thomas family is very competitive in games like Trivia and sports

My two sons are still injuring themselves in sporting competitions to this day

After one or two Thomas family gatherings

We quickly learned that Scott Furuta plays a mean board game himself

I think we all agree he’s the best among us with his quick and ready intelligence

Of course, none of that competitive stuff means a thing to Eva

She knows and we all recognized immediately that Scott

Is one of the most gentle dudes around

Finally, another wedding toast tradition is to give marital advice to the couple

I have only one good piece of marital advice to offer both of you

I got it from my oldest son, Sean

He and his wife, Sheila, will celebrate 30 years together next year

A couple of years back I asked Sean what he owed his long marriage to

He said, “I watched what you did, Dad, and I do just the opposite.”

Well that’s my five minute toast

Families and friends of the couple, 

As the British say, "will you please all be upstanding"

And raise your glasses and your hopes

In a toast to Mr. and Mrs. Scott Kiyoshi Furuta

With love for the newlywed couple,

Dad