SILENT BOOMER PLANS TO END IT ALL

Brief note about current writing project. I'm still trying to complete a third rewrite of Programming Frank Singletary once known as The Porn Writer. I imagined I'd be done in two shakes of a lamb's tail. Had two chapters left but have hung fire on them for weeks. In fact, I'm altering how the novel ends. The original ending [see below], I thought of as existential and clever. Now, I'm hoping to make it more realistic and positive, I suppose. 

"Jesus Christ, what a mystery I am to myself! Penetrated with shame and emptiness, I lower my head and stare at the floor. So this is how I live, who I really am, I think, as I bend to pick up a small square of paper which lies on the floor, half under the mattress. Some writing on it. In an odd mood, I tell myself, Pretend this is a message left by the great big bang evolutionary force of the universe specially for me. I begin to read...."   THE END 

Wow! Writing is so mysterious. After reworking this ending paragraph, I'm now leaning toward leaving the ending as is. Of course, it's obviously a way to start a novel. Guess, I'll stop now, go for a walk and ponder the imponderables.