Recently I submitted a piece of writing to a local paper. It was rejected. That's okay. Any writer gets used to that, but I had asked that if they used my piece would they please mention my blog and/or my publications at Amazon. The editor in an email said that the paper would not advertize my books or this blog if they ever did use a piece of writing by me. I have no argument with the editor, but a little recognition wouldn't hurt. What really bothers me about all of this is how I now feel SHAME that I should even have asked someone to give me a little help in my effort to sell a book before I die. It's my problem, of course, not that particular editor's, but I don't know how people can shamelessly advertize themselves or their work whereas I am unable to do it. I picture shame as partly genetic and it's a mechanism by which some of us monkeys hold back while others climb to the top of the heap.
My shame is difficult to deal with. I'm sure it's at the root of my hard drinking in the past. Why should anyone feel shame just because he wants to become known and sell a book? It certainly doesn't hold back the silver-back gorillas among us who do become known or rise to power. I also believe that shame is what causes some celebrities to act out so badly when they do achieve recognition. They feel they don't deserve it.
Perhaps I need to change the title of this blog to THE SHAMEFUL BOOMER!
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